June 15, 2005

• I remember back in April and probably in February, I wrote those "oh it's already (name of month) already!  How time flies!"

  
  

  Guess I haven't done that in a while.

  
  

  It may be because I am so aware of how limited my time here is, or it may also be that because I know that I don't have that much time left, I keep myself so busy that I've actually lost track of time.

  
  

  Or the real reason may be that I am just so stressed out with the exams that are coming up that I don't really care about the time I have left.  I'm just worried about preserving my straight A streak.

  
  

  Seriously, when my Constitutional Law of China professor told me that he will be failing half the students, I started sweating like crazy.  You know me well enough, you could probably imagine me twirling my pen with my fingers with such speed that you won't be able to tell where the tip of the pen is.  Yes, I was that freaked out.  And now I'm getting all GAD and OCD on that one class that I'm not sure if I can concentrate on studying for my other classes.

  
  

  But of course, there's the Criminal Law class with such a hard ass professor that if she sees any word wrong in your argument, she'll mark it wrong and give you a B right off the bat.  The horrors!

  
  

  So law is hard.  And what I'm afraid of is that these two seemingly fascistly strict professors would actually end up being relatively easy graders whereas the seemingly nicer one (Civil Procedure) would be the real devil and give us the hardest exam on earth w/o warning.

  
  

   

  
  

  What a way to welcome the end of my year here in Japan.  What I had imagined was a fun but somewhat emotional end with a tearful goodbye to a girl that I would be madly in love with.  Nope, that's not gonna happen.  What will happen is I will study my ass off and give a big sigh of relief after I finish my exams and then notice that this hell of a ride will end in a matter of days.  And what will happen is that I will be the one sending my friends off on their month long trips or year-abroad-programs to Europe or Southeast Asia or wherever.

  
  

  What has happened is that I have been shown by boys and girls two years younger than me that it is my fate that I should meet my 21st year in this world w/o a significant other.  While several molding, small, jail -cell- like dorm rooms are being occupied with more than one inhabitant and when two toothbrushes of differing colors are placed in one cup, I'm still waking up to only the cell phone ringtone I set the night before, and nothing else.

  
  

  Some things never change...

  • 4:47 am
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